Buckle Up!

Buckle Up!
Right about the same time as the Ladies’ Retreat this year, God gave me a picture of my walk with Him, and how I tend to, or not to, rest in Him:
I was walking along the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere. There was a car driving slowly beside me with the passenger side window down. The driver kept remarking politely, “Are you going to get back in the car? You can get back in anytime you want.” It didn’t take me long to realize the driver was God, and that I was throwing a little temper-tantrum. I turned to God and declared, “I don’t want to get in the car! You keep making ridiculous stops and detours that have nothing to do with where I’m going!” Still, God kept His voice soft and controlled, “I know where you’re going. I want to take you there. And my way will be better. But, if you choose to walk the whole way, I’ll be right here, waiting.” How could He stay so calm and faithful when I am behaving like such a child?
I realized then that I was not resting in God. I realized that much of my life had been spent outside the car. And I wondered why my feet were so sore and bruised and why I was so exhausted. I decided then that, even if God takes me to my “promised land” in a way I wouldn’t have chosen myself, I am much better off in the car, passenger’s seat, with my seatbelt securely fastened.
I want to share with you a little bit of my trip with God over the past year, Ladies’ Retreat to Ladies’ Retreat. Some of it is awesome, and it’s obvious that I was right where I was supposed to be, buckled in, but I must say, those times were really all sandwiched by my little temper-tantrum walks on the side of the road.

• LADIES’ RETREAT 08: Someone gives Andy and me a word from God that shakes my world more than that person will ever know.
• SPRING 08: I have my own Abraham/Isaac moment and have to lay my dreams on the altar, some of which stemmed from that innocently given word at the Ladies’ Retreat.
• SUMMER 08: Andy gets promoted at work. A raise is imminent.
• JULY 08: Andy’s company declares bankruptcy. So much for that raise.
• AUGUST 08: Just as we are about to question where our rent money is going to come from, Andy is given a construction job that pays an advance for the exact amount of our rent. Hallelujah!
• FALL 08: We have been so blessed by various members of the church who have poured out blessings, money, groceries, etc. on us. We have never felt more loved!
• OCTOBER 08: Our landlord cuts our month’s rent in HALF!! Praise the Lord!
• NOVEMBER 08: I begin to see those dreams that I put on the altar come back to life again, and this time it wasn’t me who made it happen.
• THANKSGIVING 08: Despite many, many resumes and applications to various job fields and positions, Andy still has not even been called for an interview. We head to Texas to celebrate the holiday.
• DECEMBER 08: We leave Texas after working our butts off for 2 weeks with way more money than we expected to leave with.
• DECEMBER 08: We receive a Christmas card from our landlord with a grocery gift certificate for $100. Landlord of the year!!
• CHRISTMAS 08: Andy has several paint/construction jobs on the horizon and we actually have excess money for Christmas gifts.
• JANUARY 09: All but one of the jobs falls through. Still not one interview.
• JANUARY 09: Despite no job interviews, and no steady employment, we still lack for nothing. Every bill is paid and current, we are still in our wonderful home, we haven’t missed one meal, and our children are completely covered by Medicaid. We are blessed!
• FEBRUARY 09: TAXES – I file our taxes early, because despite being self-employed for half the year, we still get an enormous tax return that carries us through the next couple of months.
• FEBRUARY 09: TAXES – I find out that despite losing our major income in July, we still make just as much money in 2008 as we did in 2007. God is so AMAZING!!
• FEBRUARY 09: TAXES – For the first time in our marriage, our giving record shows that we gave OVER 10% for 2008. If that’s not a testimony of the blessings in giving, I don’t know what is!
• FEBRUARY 09: Surprise!! We’re pregnant! At the same time as my sister! This changes all the plans I had made for the coming year. Seriously.
• LADIES’ RETREAT 09: The women of The Rock are AWESOME!! Every speaker at the retreat is INCREDIBLE! We all receive amazing revelation and leave changed!
• LADIES’ RETREAT 09: My dreams really are beginning to come true and I am in awe of how God works things out when we get out of the way.
• LADIES’ RETREAT 09: I screw up. Big time. I am embarrassed and appalled at myself, and leave feeling that I am not anywhere near the “good” and “righteous” person I thought I was. After all this time and all the many things that God has done in me this entire year, have I not learned one thing?? Could I really be so selfish and ugly??

Why did all of that end on such a terrible note? Although I know that God didn’t cause that last part to happen, I know that He used it to teach me yet another one of those lessons, along with many others, that I thought I had learned a long time ago.
The lesson: I AM NOTHING WITHOUT GOD. I CAN DO NOTHING WITHOUT GOD. I CAN BE NOTHING WITHOUT GOD.
At the retreat we learned about Unleashing the Power of God within us. I think that sometimes we get our thinking backwards. I think sometimes we see the power of God as being something that holds us back or binds us from being ourselves. But, that’s all wrong. God’s power unleashes us from that sin, that part of us that doesn’t measure up, that part of us that messes everything up. It gives us freedom! It is there because we can’t do it on our own and ONLY God IN us can do all those things that God has called us to. Take a look at this retreat scripture:
Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through HIS MIGHTY POWER at work WITHIN US, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (NLT – Emphasis mine.)
That should take the pressure off. Does it? It is only by HIS MIGHTY POWER that we can do anything! So all those times that we squirm against the seatbelt of His protection, safety, and His plan, it does nothing but make us more uncomfortable. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make us more capable, just uncomfortable. When we rest securely buckled in that car, we are denying our own selfish desires, incapable strength, and hopeless plans and surrendering to His righteous desires, unmatched strength, and divine plans.
Philippians 3:10-11 I want to know Christ and experience the MIGHTY POWER that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him, sharing in His death, so that one way or another I will EXPERIENCE THE RESURRECTION FROM THE DEAD! (NLT – Emphasis mine.)
So, I hope that you have a new outlook about sitting in the passenger’s seat, and that you can find the rest that is available in knowing that without Him, we are nothing, and that’s okay. We don’t have to be anything, because He is everything! He knows where we’re going; knows how to get us there in perfect timing; knows the way that is the safest and most secure; and He will even wait for us when we childishly demand to get out of the car and try our own way. What does your trip look like for the rest of this year? Mine, I have decided, will look like this (barring any more temper-tantrums):
• MARCH 09 AND ON: I’m getting in the car, buckling up and throwing my plan out the window forever. I’m deciding right now, that if I can’t arrive with God, I don’t want to arrive at all. I’m forgetting and forgiving myself for all the mistakes I’ve made thus far: for all the times I stepped out of the car and stuck out my bottom lip; for all the times I strained against the seatbelt only to find the air taken out of me; for all the times I tried to jerk the steering wheel out of God’s hands; for all the times I tried to hijack my own ride… I’m going to let go and let God and see His mighty power move in my life in ways I never thought possible!
So, buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life, literally! God had great things in store for you, regardless of any mistakes or plans you’ve made on your own! Rest in Him. Rest in His power, rest in His anointing, rest in His control.