Devotional 4-13-09

It seems that the Lord is taking me out of my comfort zone. All my children have taken after their father with the ability to write. I lack the ease with which to write my feelings down. I guess that I should have done something with those journals that Amy always gave me.
I really needed this retreat more than any retreat before. The last 12 months have been very difficult for me and my family. Jerry has had 3 major operations and 2 of them came right before the ladies retreat.
The Lord ministered love to me in a greater way, not only the love He has for me but love through two ladies, Betty Wendt and Katie Richey, whom I roomed with.
I really believe that all the sessions were aimed at me and most of the drama episodes. I love the Lord and have been saved and filled with the Holy Spirit since Amy was a baby. There are times that I was closer to Him than I was this past year. You would think that I would have been smart and drawn closer and not away from Him. Carrie’s teaching hit me right in the face and that was—every woman will be changed to the degree she wants to be changed. I was at that point of desperation of needing to be changed. God is still working on me. I am having a hard time allowing things in me to be changed by Him. We all go through that "giving it to the Lord" and then we take it back. Once it is in the Lord’s hands LEAVE IT THERE. It doesn’t do any good to want it back. It is the problem that we are trying to give up.
The word “retreat” means many things but the one that I really like is “a place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy. Our going to Estes Park is our place of refuge—our way of getting things back on track with the Lord. Looking forward to being stronger and desiring to be used of the Lord in a greater way. John 15:16 tells us that we didn’t choose Him but He chose us. Because He loves us so much he wants us to ask for things in His name so that He may give it to us. He wants us to bear fruit and keep on bearing fruit. I pray that the Lord will bless you abundantly as we continue to draw close to Him. I am thankful for His constant love and watchful eye over us. I can see the changes that He is making and I want to continue growing. Let us remember to be at that degree of change so that we don’t get to a point of desperation.
I am looking forward to seeing the fruit in all of us and receiving it from one another as the Lord continues His faithful watch over us.

Love you all, Diane Harper